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Thursday, November 9, 2017

Run for It by Christina Bergling (Guest Post)

You need to start running. Now.

I know. I know. I can hear you already. I hate running. I only run if something is chasing me. Running is stupid. Why don’t you go f—

I am not trying to improve your health or lower your blood pressure. I am not concerned with how clogged your arteries are or how many hours you spend stagnant on the couch. I am coming at this from a horror perspective.

In a horror situation, one of two things is happening:

1. You are fleeing a killer.
2. You are becoming the killer.

In both scenarios, you need to be running. How do you think the horror greats like Michael and Jason outwalk their frantic and desperate victims? I guarantee it is not by spending forty hours a week lashed to a chair in front of a computer. These determined killers are hitting the cardio. They are running. And whether you are trying to get away or trying to keep up, you need to be running too.

Now, let’s say you’re a traditionalist, just an innocent person in the wrong place at the wrong time. Most likely a randy teenager just trying to explore your base instincts in an opportunistic scenario. Welcome to the victim pool. As potential carnage candy, running is the most important to you.

This killer is motivated. Regardless if you have personally wronged them or not, they are not going to rest until you are no longer breathing, which means neither can you. In fact, your odds of survival increase if you do have a personal relationship with the killer. Final survivors are rarely just bystanders.

So, you say you only run if something is chasing you? I say something is about to be chasing you. You cannot rely on adrenaline alone to spirit you off into survival. You might get a good burst, but in the third and fourth encounter with the killer, those bags of potato chips on the couch will start to betray you.

It is time to be proactive. Run now to live later. Not because it makes you healthy but because it is your only chance at escaping a motivated killer in a horror scenario.

But, wait. No. You’re not the victim type. You are not simply lolling through life, oblivious to the threats all around you. You are the threat. You are a bottomless pit of shapeless rage and angst that grows darker as all the small infractions of the world heap upon you.

You feel like there is only one answer: murder.

Yet you can’t just go around killing people. I mean, who does that? Aside from the moral implications, there is so much surveillance these days. How would you even get away with it? Better to not even tempt fate.

So how to you deal with all this pent-up rage and frustration? How do you cope?

Start running.

Yes, my friends, endorphins are an amazing thing. That miserable death sensation you get as you slug your legs beneath you is only temporary. Once you push yourself to the brink of physical hell, you discover an intoxicating and rolling high on the other side. Run enough and you can alter your very brain chemistry, harness your demons, find a new and “healthy” obsession.

Every time your boss pisses you off at work, do not bash him in the head with a stapler. Go for a run. Every time your spouse fails to appreciate your housework, do not stab him with a kitchen knife. Go for a run. At this rate, you could run yourself into a half marathon by the end of a year.

Run, run, run. Until it becomes therapy. And then until it becomes normal, the effects numbed by familiarity, leaving you back with that nagging urge under your skin.

Who are we kidding? Running is not enough to quench murderous ideation. It surely did not work for Emma in The Rest Will Come, but you had to try. Conveniently, you are already conditioned for chasing those irritating little survivors from all the runs when you tried to outrun your true self.

As an active killer, you have to commit though. Not only do you need to be able to chase down virile teenagers sprinting for their lives, but you have to make it look effortless. You can’t be panting and slobbering and puking while your intended victims are trying to figure out how to cut off your head. Nothing is scary about an assailant bested by cardio.

So, let’s face it. The horror scenario is coming. You are going to be a victim running for your life or a blossoming killer running to stay sane and without trespass who ultimately becomes the killer chasing down victims. All roads lead to running. So, lace up those shoes and get out there.

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About the Author

Colorado‐bred writer, Christina Bergling knew she wanted to be an author in fourth grade.

In college, she pursued a professional writing degree and started publishing small scale. It all began with “How to Kill Yourself Slowly.”

With the realities of paying bills, she started working as a technical writer and document manager, traveling to Iraq as a contractor and eventually becoming a trainer and software developer.

She avidly hosted multiple blogs on Iraq, bipolar, pregnancy, running. She continues to write on Fiery  Pen: The Horror Writing of Christina Bergling and Z0mbie Turtle.

In 2015, she published two novellas. She is also featured in the horror collections Collected Christmas Horror Shorts, Collected Easter Horror Shorts, Collected Halloween Horror Shorts, and Demonic Wildlife.

Her latest novel, The Rest Will Come, was released by Limitless Publishing in August 2017. Bergling is a mother of two young children and lives with her family in Colorado Springs. She spends her non‐writing time running, doing yoga and barre, belly dancing, taking pictures, traveling, and sucking all the marrow out of life.


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About the Book

The Rest Will Come
by Christina Bergling

Murder can be risky...and not just for the douchebags on the business end of Emma’s power saw.

Men only let Emma down. They cheat, and they lie. They send unsolicited pictures of their genitals. Ready to give up hope, Emma decides to go on one last date. Then it finally happens—she finds the thing she loves most of all.

Killing clueless jerks she finds on the internet.

Lost in a happy haze of hunting her victims, devising increasingly-clever killings, and streamlining her dismemberment process, Emma gets careless.

As her need for her murderous outlet grows, she runs an increasing risk of getting caught...or worse—falling for one of her victims.

Murder might be her one true love...

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